The Shift from Relationship to Real Intimacy
Relation to the Archetype of the Number 6
This is not a polished model. It’s just me, thinking out loud – sharing thoughts and reflections that have been walking alongside me these past months.
Especially since my divorce, I’ve been observing not only myself but also the patterns we carry collectively around the word relationship, or in German: Beziehung.
It has become a conversation with life itself. One that touches me personally, but also conceptually – especially as I dive deeper into numerology, where the number 6 holds the space for relationships, responsibility and family.
And as I stand with this number – not just as a symbol but as a living theme – I notice:
The concept of Beziehung, as we often live it, might not fit anymore.
The Word Beziehung and What It Implies
In German, Beziehung comes from beziehen, which is about relating to or taking something from outside.
This alone made me pause.
Is this why so many relationships – romantic, but also friendships and even family bonds – often seem subtly transactional?
Do we still associate love with a silent negotiation?
The Shift: From Beziehung to Anziehung
Over the past few months, I started to sense that maybe it’s not about Beziehung at all, but about something softer, more magnetic – something I’d call Anziehung (attraction).
Where relationships aren’t built on taking, but on attracting.
Where love isn’t about what I receive from you, but about what I already carry within myself.
And maybe, just maybe, that’s the bridge to intimacy.
Not fluid relationships, not avoidance disguised as freedom, but the courage to let someone see you – and to see into yourself.
My Personal Path
After my divorce, I promised myself that I wouldn’t step into a new relationship for at least six months. I didn’t want to rush. I didn’t want to numb the discomfort.
During this time, I’ve had opportunities. Encounters. And many deep conversations – sometimes with others, sometimes just with myself.
I realized that one of the biggest challenges isn’t even the fear of losing freedom. It is having open, transparent and honest conversations – especially when both people value their independence.
It’s easy to stay detached. It’s safe to avoid.
But intimacy?
It requires both to be present. To speak honestly about what is alive within, without hiding behind old patterns or ideas of what love is supposed to be.
And this is where I believe the real work begins.
Looking at the words, the patterns, the subconscious dynamics – and asking:
Do they still serve me? Or am I just repeating what I’ve seen, learned, or inherited?
The Role of the Number 6
In numerology, the 6 is the archetype of responsibility, family and relationship.
It often brings the theme of caring – but also of carrying too much, of sacrificing too much, or holding relationships together by force instead of truth.
I realize now that my relationship to relationships is also about integrating this 6.
Not through responsibility driven by fear or habit, but through conscious, loving presence – both with myself and with another.
The Invitation
I’m not offering a conclusion here.
I’m still in the middle of the dance between independence and intimacy, between old patterns and new possibilities.
But I’m sharing this because maybe you’re on a similar path.
Maybe you also feel the discomfort, the hesitation, but also the deep longing for real intimacy – the kind that starts within.
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Are you, too, navigating this space between Beziehung and Anziehung?
How do you relate – to yourself and to others?
Ready to reconnect with yourself - with clarity, not chaos?
Let’s start with a conversation.